I had a moment after I got off of work. In order to understand this you need to know what happened yesterday. I was in Judo basically being the test dummy for another classmate. I neglected to tuck my head in once while being thrown causing my skull to land hard on the mat under the force of his throw and my own body weight. This normally would not be a problem only he is in competition judo and competition wrestling so this throw should have knocked me out (if head was not properly tucked). I was able to remain conscious. Get my ass up and throw the other guy before getting thrown about 10 more times by Mr. Man. I could literally see only blur for about three minutes after the first knock into the mat.

So today I had a moment after work. I got picked up and was just sitting in the car. My head hurt all day terribly and it was quite quiet in the car. I had to hold my head to the side because the pounding felt like something was going to pop and I was saying something but suddenly stopped. It was very quiet. I looked at my hands and they looked very strange. It looked like animal claws which I could not ever think of as "me." I looked around me and everything was in real time. I could not hear a single thought in my head. I felt as though I was glued to the chair. Not so much glued but I could not tell where the seat began and I began. I felt merged with the very seat. With the sounds around me which were so crisp and the very air. I could smell very clearly and understand it all. Everything felt as though it made sense even though I could not ever hope to articulate it. Everything was everything and all that was would ever be what was right there! I had no label or value or even claim over my own body which was not mine but apart of everything that is. My mind was still silent when I went home. Later I was laying in my room with my head pounding. I got into a position where it hurt a little less and looked at my feet. They looked so strange. As though you took a palm and flattened it then squished the fingers down. My god my feet are hands! Malformed hands. It was alright. They wern't really mine. It just was.
I felt as though my body were apart of the floor. There was no way to tell where the floor began, the sleeping bag began or even my body. It all was.
My mind was quiet. That little voice silenced. I was in the now. The only true peace.

I cannot fully explain what I felt. I wish I could. My head doesn't hurt anymore. My voice is back. Time is moving normally...

- Nachelle